The anti-bucket list of my dreams
Everyone seems to be having a bucket list and some of these things are mad scary. I know the ‘yolo’ feeling is strong but these things look extremely dangerous to Tomiwa Ekisola. I am definitely no Will smith simply because ‘I no wan die’. This blog post is just to state the things I can NEVER do basically my Anti-bucket list.
Skydiving: I still do not understand why people just decide to jump of a plane?! Aside from my fear of heights, I actually have no intention to die soon. Some people wee na say they feel alive. Abeg, I do not need to greet the god of death before I feel alive.
Eating in the sky: I do not even understand how anyone thought of this? Has dining table finished in my house? Do I look like I plan on attending the last supper? Fear will not even let the food digest. I have not finished using all of the ground, it’s the sky I will decide to use shaybe?!
Kissing while hanging on a moving train : When I saw this,I was like ‘wetin be this again oh?’ First things first, wind wee be disturbing the kiss. Then we can forget ourselves and fall down. How am I supposed to explain to God on judgement day that it’s nonsense that sent me to heaven early?!
Getting married under water: Oh Lord why?! I know we all want to reduce wedding guests but this one is extreme. There are too many risks here oh. What if oxygen finishes before the Nigerian pastors long sermon ends? Or shark comes to bite us? I can not afford to die before my honey moon oh.
Firewalking: Immediately I saw this, I screamed ‘when I am not suya!’. Apparently some people see fire and think let me walk on it. I have no intention of being cremated alive so that’s a big NO NO for me.
Human Bowling: All I kept on thinking about is the body pain, headache and various other injuries I will sustain by doing this. Why exactly will I; a perfectly sane human being decide that I want to be a bowling ball?
Cage diving: I consider this to be madness, no offense. I do not feel 100% secure in any zoo where the animals are caged. So how exactly do people voluntarily go into cages (with oxygen) and then get thrown into the sea surrounded by sharks or other dangerous animal? Thinking about it alone is scaring the living daylights out of me.
I am sure someone reading this is probably thinking, ” Ireoluwatomiwa Ekisola is not adventurous” and you are absolutely right. If adventure involves the above, I no want oh. I am sure this list will grow overtime because some humans clearly like to knock at death’s front door and I don’t want early relocation to my father’s house where there are many mansions.
Am I overreacting? or would you love to try and do them?
Are these things on your bucket list?
Do you also have an anti-bucket list?